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Revealing The Secret: Turning Self Sabotage Into Self Empowerment

The Myth Of Willpower Is The Reason Why Most People Spin Their Wheels Only To Get Nowhere

Christopher here.
Often when you see a video of a coach after a work out, what usually follows is some form of shame & guilt. I see a similar message in the industry that goes somewhere along the lines of “if you’re not pushing yourself then you’re a PUSSY!”
These coaches have many followers who find this to be their favorite flavor of self empowerment. The truth is it’s only another form of self sabotage. The reason this message is followedSO MUCH is because it’s the same voice most of us adopted in our upbringing.

It’s the voice that uses shame, guilt and force to get us to take action through willpower. 

I’ve been working out hard consistently for years. I’ve increased my physical capacity to the point where I completed an Ironman, and I wouldn’t have been able to do it by willpower.

With that being said during the last week and a half on the road I fell off the wagon, which is not a normal pattern for me these days, but in the past very much so.

Most of us understand that in order to stay in shape it requires us to take full responsibility, stay accountable, eat healthy and workout consistently. Most of us know the “how to.”  Yet for some reason there’s a gap for many people… we often self sabotage and we don’t know why.

In fact every human being will fall off the wagon at some point, the key is to empower yourself rather than going into a downward spiral. 

There are three levels of self sabotage, and here’s what they look like:

Level 1 of Self Sabotage:  Allowing The Committee In Our Head to Dominate 

This is the form of self sabotage most people are aware of.  We wake up in the morning and instead of doing our morning workout we hit the snooze button. We allow the voice in our head to stop us before we even begin.  Often we try to overcome this form of self sabotage through willpower, but willpower is only a temporary fix.  

Level 2 of Self Sabotage: Ignore The Committee And Act Like You’re A Badass

This is forcing yourself to take action. It’s the willpower that gives us that temporary fix where we’ve convinced ourself and others that we’re a badass by crushing our goals by force. The major problem with this approach is that you’re not truly empowering yourself. 

Most of the self-talk is still something along the lines of “just get out of bed you pussy!”  which lowers your frequency.  You may be able to get the workout done but lower frequency choices follow soon afterwards. This approach is in no means sustainable, and leads to self abuse, injury and/or a major set back in the near future.  

Level 3 – Don’t Work Out And Start Beating Yourself Up About It 

We follow leaders that talk to us this way because we talk to ourselves this way. Normally this is a byproduct from our upbringing. It’s the band-aid fix that parents use to keep their children disciplined.
Short term you may be able to beat & shame yourself into working out. Long term, if you use this method, you will lower your frequency, which leads to self sabotage… Like indulging in food that isn’t healthy for you, drinking, procrastination, etc.

So If Willpower Leads To Self Sabotage, What Is The Mystery Behind Self Empowerment?

The more I talk mean to myself the less I’m loving myself.   The more I am undermining my self-love and self-respect, the lower frequency choices I make for myself. 

The secret behind empowerment is loving yourself on a deeper level.  

If I tell myself things like “you piece of shit,”  “don’t be a pussy,” “do the work,” “what’s wrong with you?” it will only lead me into a downward spiral. 

If I choose to love myself on a deeper level, even when I do fall off track, it allows me to get back on quicker. Resulting in an upward spiral.

The Key Is To Stop Questioning YOU!

You can question your beliefs, thoughts, voices in your head, life… but never question who you are at a core level. 

The truth is, the essence of you is LOVE.  True success in any area of life requires certainty and confidence. The more you can love yourself through the journey the more powerful, certain and confident you will be. 

Unconditional love for yourself and impeccable integrity can accomplish miracles. When you fall off the wagon (and from time to time you will)  the faster you can re-commit from a place of LOVE… the better.  

If You Don’t Go Within You Go Without

If you’re going without love, passion, money, romance, intimacy or whatever it may be,  it means you haven’t gone within.

All of the things that you seek outside of yourself are actually things that must be found from within.

Every time you choose to go within come back bearing gifts for yourself… not self sabotage or critique.  When you choose to take your approach from a place of love, you open yourself up to new opportunities. Ones that previously didn’t seem possible.

-Christopher John Stubbs