Are you a relatively rational and smart person?
Then charisma and the ability to connect with people at the heart level is an 80/20 leverage point for you that you might be ignoring.
Here is why.
Truly connecting with people on a deep level requires PRESENCE (this is one of the three requirements…but we’ll start here).
PRESENCE means you let your mind RELAX. Which is why, if part of your self identification is your intelligence, you’re likely overclocking on your thoughts when you’re with other people…
What is the result of all that intelligence and mind work? It makes your friend, lover, co-worker, or employee feel less important.
THIS is why less intelligent and wise people get promoted into leadership…and smart people get held back.
It’s also why business owners and leaders find most of the good people who take responsibility eventually leaving…and people who brown nose staying.
The last week I’ve had so much going on in my life that it’s been difficult for me to intentionally get PRESENT and let my mind relax.
This has lead to disjointed conversations…and I’m sure times where people don’t feel connected with me, or worse, feel that I’m not authentic.
Presence isn’t something people are born with. It’s a skill – rooted in the ability to separate ones EXPERIENCE and BEING from ones thoughts and chatterbox.
So how can you and I get more present?
One of the best ways to practice PRESENCE is meditation.
Sometimes meditation is one of the practices that my clients have the hardest time accepting as important.
Intentionally practicing the letting go of continual thoughts…BEING and noticing whatever you might be experiencing…is you practicing being PRESENT with your surroundings.
That discipline helps you be present with other people.
If you feel like you aren’t connecting with others…that you aren’t connecting with your lover…that people don’t see how much you care…
How is your meditation practice?
Maybe it isn’t them. Maybe you just don’t know how to be present.